


sink secluded in hatred

by galient



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, Character Study, Family Dynamics, Fluff, My First Work in This Fandom, No Dialogue, Other, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Misses Toby Smith | Tubbo, this is a oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:09:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27639350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galient/pseuds/galient
Summary: Tears sprung to the surface of his eyes, like salmon jumping through the clear river running down to the ocean. Tommy looked at Philza, and cried.(Title is from saline solution <3)
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 207





	sink secluded in hatred

**Author's Note:**

> I only just got my account, and this is the only work I deem worthy enough to be posted here >_< anyway hope anyone who reads this enjoys.

Its quiet, in the field. It hasn't been quiet for a long while. Months, years, hours. It's all a long time in L'manberg. The grass takes too long to ripple in sync with the wind, the clouds are slow and heavy. 

It's going to rain soon. Tommy sits, among the quiet, with the bugs and the bees. Waiting for something, anything. He doesnt know what hes waiting for, he hasn't for a long time. Its here, in the grass where he thinks. Tommy isnt in charge of fate, or destiny. That's why hes so afraid of it, fate controls him, and whether it leads him to victory or be squandered into the waste of time and loss. 

Life is dependent on the fact that we know that eventually it will come to an end, and thats okay. It's okay because we make that time up by doing whatever we can to be happy. 

Tommy fights for himself, for Lmanberg, because it's something worth fighting for. All these memories he holds so closely to his heart, grasping at the possibilities of new ones, warming them with the heat of his blood and quite literally, fighting for the things that make him happy. Or perhaps, what he thinks would make others happy. 

And being happy in life, is a necessity isnt it? Because if you're not happy, what is there to live for? Maybe this is all one dimensional, Tommy was happy, in L'manberg with his friends. Friends is what makes you happy, but oddly enough. The main source that could make you happy, is making someone else happy. Maybe this is why Tommy fought so hard for L'manberg, his old dear home. 

The trees etched in scratches and scuffs, because once a mark is made in a tree you cant repair it. Tommy remembers climbing into trees, scraping his knees against the bark of the branches, the leaves scratching his skin. The light shining through the green would cast gently on his face, and the warmth was something so real you could never really remember how it felt unless you felt it again. Tommy remembers hiding twigs in the untamed parts of Tubbos hair, giggling as Tubbo shook his head rapidly from side to side to get rid of them. Tommy misses that feeling. 

Having fun with Tubbo, making fun of him until Wilbur nudges him gently with his shoulder and under a gaze of warmth and light reprimand. Tommy was so happy, but only because the people around him were so happy. And Tommy was content with the fact that he swelled the fire of mirth for others as well. 

Tommy hears the slow irregular movement of grass behind him, footsteps so familiar he didnt need to turn to look at the man. Tommy was just, too tired to even try looking back. 

Philza sits down next to him, pulls his legs across eachother to sit in a criss cross. Phil's presence is gentle, and pulls the entanglement of nature's silence, mingles with the tune of it like warm fingers strumming a guitar. The sun setting over the horizon is how Phil feels, like the end of the day slowing drifting into a new one. Tommy blinks, he feels like the honey stuck under Tubbos nails after a long day of beekeeping. War weighs heavily on him, and his back aches under the pressure. 

Philza is quiet, like hes trying to copy the wind with the slow motion of his breathing. Tommy wishes he could bathe in the inflection of Phil's arrival, how soft the underlying words lay. I'm here for you, it says. 

Tommy hasn't got L'manberg back. Its destroyed, almost beyond fixing. Tommy isnt beyond fixing. L'manberg isnt his happiness, its not the only thing that holds importance in his mind. The reason Tommy was so attached to the patchwork of land was because that's the thing that's been keeping everyone together.

They all fought for L'manberg for independence, it brought them together like how Niki spent hours weaving the difference fabrics and colors of the flag together.

L'manberg was the basis of their friendship, their land, their home. But L'manberg was also Tubbo, and Wilbur. L'manberg was Niki, Fundy, and even Eret once. Tommy's friends is his L'manberg, and even if the land was gone, he would always have that. He would always have his memories, and the songs. 

Under his realization, he feels the pressure of someones hand resting at the top of his back. That's the only thing that pulls him out of his thoughts, and plunges him into the crushing feeling of complete and utter acquiescence that his home was destroyed. Maybe he never truly processed it all. Even with the comforting thought of his friends, even of Wilbur and Technoblade, who blew up L'manberg in the first place, his emotions suddenly swung at full force. 

Tears sprung to the surface of his eyes, like salmon jumping through the clear river running down to the ocean. Tommy looked at Philza, and cried.

Hard enough that the tears that's been bottled up and stored under the cabinet labeled 'forgotten' over years that are full with war and fighting, is released so suddenly that Tommy has to hunch over himself so he can breathe. Philza still holds a comforting presence at his back, rubbing semi circles into his skin. Tommy grits his metal filled mouth, presses a hand against it to stifle the heart shattering sounds of his sobbing. 

The wind stays the same around them, everything does. The sun is still slowly falling from their view, the bugs and the bees stay buzzing around them. As Tommy cries and cries for all the time hes lost for L'manberg, for Wilbur and for Dream, he realizes the silence isnt really that bad with someone by your side.


End file.
